The employment market being what it is for newly minted college graduates, Willadene Zedan would stand out at Saturday's commencement at Marian University in Fond du Lac, Wis., if only for the fact that she'll begin the job of her dreams just four days later: Accompanying a local doctor on house calls to the homebound elderly.
 
(MORE: Why I Went Back to College)

But Zedan, at the age of 85, is already the reluctant celebrity of Marian's class of 2013. She's proof that it's never too late to do the things you didn't get to do in the prime of life and that "lifelong learning" is more than hackneyed happy-talk.
 
In the days leading up to graduation, with exams and papers behind her, Zedan did not head for the beach with a six-pack to celebrate as other undergraduates might. Rather she toiled in the kitchen of the home she shares with one of her daughters, Elizabeth Zedan, a minister, and her son-in-law, Thomas Richardson, chairman of Marian's chemistry department.
 
With five children, 15 grandchildren (one a nursing student at Marian, despite having four children of her own) and 26 great-grandchildren assembling for the big event, Zedan was preparing a banquet. "If I demanded the whole bunch of them show up, it's the least I can do," she says. "Some way to insist on a family reunion, isn't it?"
 
Zedan's college education began tentatively, when she audited a single class in 1999 at age 71. She had recently moved to Wisconsin from rural Gaylord, Mich. – "no man's land," she calls it, with church, shopping and volunteer opportunities all at least a half hour's drive from home – after the death of her husband, Joe. In their 50 years of marriage, she had never itched for a college education, being more than content to raise a big family, run a gift shop, manage the banquet hall at a golf club, lead Girl Scout and Boy Scout troops and, as a convert to Catholicism, explore the contours of her religious faith.
 
Joe, a retired mechanic, died of a heart attack while puttering at a home repair job. Willa, as he called his wife, was driving home from Ash Wednesday church services. At first, she stayed put in remote Gaylord, observing her other widowed friends do little but watch soap operas on television, complain about aches and pains and seem to grow dottier with every passing day. This, Zedan says unsparingly, was not how she intended to live out her days.
 
(MORE: Want to Age Well? Learn New Tricks, Not Facts)

So, without apparent regret, she relocated to Fond du Lac, where both church and mall were within a 10-minute drive of her daughter's home. She had no firm plans except "to keep my mind alert." Marian University, founded by an order of nuns but now a more broadly based liberal arts school with 2,600 combined undergraduate and graduate students, was a promising place to do that. Zedan had some trepidation about whether she was up for the rigors of college coursework. Auditing her first class erased that worry. She made the acquaintance of another older woman on campus who had been auditing classes for years. Zedan, a no-nonsense sort, realized that if she went that route, "I'd have kicked myself" if she later found she would have had enough credits to graduate had she actually matriculated.
 
So Zedan added a class at a time and, finally, as many as four in a semester. During her years at Marian, where she majored in theology, it became clear to her that she was doing more than just exercising her brain, as she might with crossword puzzles. "I was preparing myself for a new career," she says, one she hoped would allow her to visit those not blessed with her good health in old age and encourage them to be as physically and mentally active as their situation allowed.
 
Zedan's classmates were kind and friendly, she says, shouting greetings from across the campus and holding doors open for her without making her feel like "a baggy old lady." But they were hardly her pals, she says, nor would that have been appropriate. She had little time for campus parties in any case. When she wasn't in class or studying, her time was spent with family. Every Wednesday, for example, she babysat for the children of her granddaughter the nursing student. Extra curricular activities? Just one: the Honor Society.
 
Her professors were her allies, she says, and have told her that her active participation in class would be missed. "The kids, to their disadvantage, are afraid to speak up," Zedan says. "They thought I didn't give a rip," she says, about sounding clever or always getting the answers right. "And I didn't. The teachers say they'll miss my input. Maybe I'll come back and haunt them."
 
(MORE: New College Program to Launch Your Second Career))

That attitude, of needing to satisfy nobody but yourself, is a wonderfully liberating part of old age and it pervades Zedan's life. For example, she's a reluctant member of Facebook, with an account created by one of her sons. But until a recent flurry of pre-graduation hullaballoo, her social-media activity was minimal, reflecting an attitude toward the site and its routines that she expressed in this posting on her page:

In conversation, while being tactful enough not to name names, Zedan made it clear that the instruction about pregnancy updates was directed at more than one family member, who like so many of their generation think that every kick or gurgle is worth sharing.

Her college experience, she says, while largely extolled by her enormous family, has prompted some discomfort for a few other members of the younger generation. Some of her grandchildren, she says, have been rebuked by their parents for bringing home less-than-stellar grades with comments like, "My mother's on the dean's list. If Grandma can do it, why can't you?"
 
Zedan's job offer came from her own doctor during a recent checkup when talk turned to her imminent graduation. He asked if she'd consider accompanying him on visits to the homebound – starting next Wednesday. Surprised and delighted, she never even asked if he intended to pay her, nor does she much care.
 
(MORE: A Lifelong Peace Corps Dream Comes True)

"My body tells me I'm growing old," she says, "and I assume that when I've pushed the Lord as far as I can push him, one day he'll give me one swift kick. But in the meantime — and if I'm lucky, that could be till I'm 100 — I'll be doing what I was trained to do. When I get to the other side, I want to be able to say I used the talent I was given."

SEE ALSO: AMERICA IN DECLINE: Young People Are Much Worse Off Than Their Parents Were At That Age

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Job seekers are very familiar with the time commitment and stress of searching for a new job. When performing your job search, you can spend hours upon hours perfecting your resume and cover letter, applying for jobs, and waiting to hear feedback from recruiters.

However, after you’ve applied for 10 or 15 jobs and haven’t heard from a single company, it’s easy to become discouraged about your search.

This frustrating cycle can be recognized as the recruiting black hole. This term describes the millions of applications that go seemingly unnoticed by recruiters. Many job seekers spend countless hours applying for jobs online, yet don’t see the results they anticipate.

If you’re wondering why recruiters haven’t contacted you about your resume, here are some reasons why your resume could have disappeared into the black hole of recruiting:

1. You aren’t qualified for the position. Ask yourself: Did I honestly meet the requirements of the job posting? If the position you applied for required you to have at least five years of experience and you only have two, many recruiters will ignore your resume. Job postings provide qualifications to help recruiters weed out candidates who lack experience; therefore, if your resume doesn’t fulfill the requirements, it likely won’t make it to their desk.

2. You overlooked the right fit. According to a recent study, many job seekers only spend one minute to determine if a job opening is the right fit and can only determine a good fit 38 percent of the time. This means roughly six out of 10 job openings viewed by job seekers are a bad fit! In addition, job seekers will also overlook two out of four opportunities that could be a good fit. What does this mean for your job search? Job seekers aren’t applying for the jobs they are best suited for, which contributes greatly to why they don’t hear back from recruiters.

3. Your resume isn’t optimized with keywords. Job seekers must use keywords in their resume in order for it to stand out to recruiters and applicant tracking systems. When you apply to jobs online, it is safe to assume your resume will run through an applicant tracking system. If you don’t include keywords to describe your skills and experience, your resume could be overlooked and prevent you from receiving an interview. To ensure your resume is noticed, use keywords from the job posting that adequately and accurately describe your experience.

4. Bad timing. Timing is everything when applying for jobs. Once you apply for a position, make sure you are constantly checking the posting for updates or changes to the requirements. Many recruiters have a small window of time when they look for talented candidates; therefore, you need to make sure your resume and cover letter are up-to-date and you follow-up with recruiters about your application.

If you feel like you are spiraling downward in your job search, there is still time to turn it around! Make sure when you apply for jobs you are spending time to thoroughly read the posting, paying attention to specific requirements, and doing your best to tailor your resume to the position. By using optimized keywords in your resume, paying attention to the details of the job posting, and applying for the right position, you will be able to make sure your resume falls into the hands of recruiters.

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Today's advice comes from Jim Koch, founder of The Boston Beer Company, via Entrepreneur.com:

"As a business grows, the people at the top are often cut off from the market, the customers, and what's really happening. I still do a lot of street selling and spending a lot of time in front of customers, whether it's trying to get a draft line or a better place on the shelf. It teaches me the real challenges. We don't do a lot of market research or focus groups, but I see real customers and to me that's a lot higher quality information."

Since starting his craft brewery 27 years ago, Koch has credited his company's success to real connections with consumers. A company's focus should not be solely about beating the competition, but about educating customers and crafting their appreciation for the product. If this is accomplished, then success will come.

"Find a way to show how your product will help customers accomplish their objectives. If you can't, then you're wasting your time because even if you sell them your product, they're not going to buy it again. And if it's a bad experience for them, you're better never having made the sale."

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Let's be honest: you don't want to fail. But if you're a leader, you've more than likely failed at one point or another.

One of the most prevalent reasons for failure is the lack of the essential elements needed to lead now and well. Here are four traits you must possess if you want to succeed as a boss:

1. Authenticity

Every leader faces the temptation to project a persona rather than be themselves. They think that to maintain the confidence of their team, they must appear faultless, flawless and wise. Yet most organizations need an authentic leader, not a perfect one.

Today's leader must develop the art of self-awareness. Quit trying to emulate someone else and start being yourself. Share and be honest about your own struggles. By doing this, you'll immediately gain influence.

2. Courage

As a leader, you can't wimp out. You must be willing to be bold and take risks. Will it be hard? Absolutely. Will it be scary at times? Probably. But courage is not waiting for your fear to go away; courage is always confronting tough decisions and conversations head-on.

You may find that this trait doesn't come natural to you. The good news is that courage can be learned. Start practicing now.

3. Principles

Every organization fails at one time or another. If a leader is principled at the time of the failure, he or she is much more likely to learn from it and move on to success.

Leaders are defined by their inner strengths and convictions, not the outer portrayal of who they are. Your character will determine your level of leadership and your legacy.
Living on principle is one essential that will help you lead well and finish well. There are three elements of being a principled leader: humility, discipline and integrity.

Want to know if you possess these three valuable principles? Start searching your speech for phrases like, "I'm sorry,""thank you" and "I trust you." Listen for patterns of "we" and "us" versus "I" and "my."

Practice the art of these principles and establish an accountability system to help keep you grounded. No one likes a leader with a big head.

Every strong leader shares at least one desire: to grow. Very few successful leaders say, "I think we're about as successful as we need to be. I've decided we should just coast from now on."

If you want to grow, you need to start collaborating. Leaders tend to shy away from other leaders because they don't want to give away their secrets, but this mentality is backward.

Collaboration creates innovation, reduces unnecessary risk and amplifies success. If you desire to advance your level of leadership, one of the best things you can do is to build bridges.

4. Collaborative spirit

Start by looking for two kinds of organizations: one you have profound philosophical differences with and another that is in the same line of work, but not a direct competitor. Once you've found them, set up a meeting and begin sharing best practices and brainstorming. You'll be thankful you did.

It's been said that following is easy, but leading is difficult. That is no doubt true. Leading in this century is a daunting task. But moving toward these healthy habits and characteristics will help you become a successful change maker capable of leveraging your influence for the betterment of the world and the collective good of others.

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Today's advice comes from Evan Williams, co-founder of Blogger, Twitter, and Medium, via Inc.:

"When I meet with the founders of a new company, my advice is almost always, 'Do fewer things.' It's true of partnerships, marketing opportunities, anything that's taking up your time. The vast majority of things are distractions, and very few really matter to your success. Anything I've done that really worked happened because, either by sheer will or a lack of options, I was incredibly focused on one problem."

Williams uses the company he co-founded, Twitter, as an example. What initially started as a side project became its very own tweeting ecosystem when he and his team decided to focus on making Twitter into an information system instead of a social network.

"When you're obsessing about one thing, you can reach insights about how to solve hard problems. If you have too many things to think about, you'll get to the superficial solution, not the brilliant one...To me, that comes down to the gut. The things that keep nagging at you are the ones worth exploring."

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Today's advice comes from Hiroshi Mikitani, CEO of Rakuten Inc., via LinkedIn:

"How well do you know yourself? You may think that you of all people would be the one to know yourself best, but human beings are often quite mistaken at this assumption ... the key to success is knowing the areas in which you are strong and the areas in which you are weaker. When you know your strengths and weaknesses, you can position yourself to be as successful as possible in any given situation."

Mikitan says first, you need to develop metrics to test your ideas and find ways to measure your progress. Second, you should seek feedback from others. Finally, reflect on your past successes and failures and see if there is a recurring mistake. This is an exercise that will expose the successes you’ve already had and the areas in which you need to improve.

"If you fail to know yourself well, you miss opportunities for self-improvement. That may leave you stalled while others who are more self-aware fill in their skill gaps, improve their own performance efforts, and pass you by."

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You hear a lot these days about the value of a college education and if it's even worth it.

Clearly, if students get a degree in certain fields where there are jobs, a degree is worth it. The tech industry is absolutely dying for more trained workers, particularly developers.

The chart below explains why tech companies want to import more workers from other countries to fill their open jobs. They say that there are more than two developer jobs for every student graduating with a computer science degree.

Importing workers makes a lot of sense, but so does encouraging  more students to learn about computer science earlier in their academic careers, as early as grade school. This could help more of them discover that they would like to enter the tech field for their careers.

Here's the rest of the presentation from Mary Meeker on the state of U.S. immigration.

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A sense of humor can serve you well in many situations.

A job application, however, may not be one of them.

That apparently did not deter one prospective Taco Bell employee when filling out his application -- and his application immediately prompted a debate online as to what his true motive was.

According to an application that was posted Friday to Reddit, the anonymous online forum, the candidate — described as the brother of a girlfriend of a Reddit editor — wrote a humorous little story in response to the standard question, "How did you find out about TACO BELL?"

In response to the standard question of "desired salary," he wrote: "Minimum wage."

The applicant's name was not shown on Reddit, nor was the position for which he was applying. But while no one in his or her right mind "desires" a federal minimum-wage salary — $7.25 an hour — it's probably the most realistic expectation for fast food workers.

Most workers in the industry make exactly that hourly salary, which has been a sore point and has resulted in fast-food workers' strikes in five cities. Was this application a sly way of making a political point? 

Commenters on Reddit divided

Reddit user emkay99 felt the applicant was being realistic, saying fast-food workers are going to be paid what "the corporation says he should be paid, and 99 times out of a hundred, that will mean minimum wage." Others suggested the application was intended as an allusion to famous anti-corporate slogans. "He's a straight shooter with upper management written all over him," Reddit user Robotizer wrote, repeating a quote from the 1999 cult film, "Office Space," which explored the soul-sucking life of the contemporary American worker.

More: Toledo Worker, Brandon Stuard, Buys Billboard, 'Please Hire My Wife'

The applicant's response to "How did you find out about Taco Bell?" was clearly tongue-in-cheek. He wrote:

I was lost one night, and in the distance I spotted a purple bell, and I thought to myself, think outside the bun. So I ran to your doors and asked for the cheesiest gordita crunch you could make. I was not disappointed.

Happyplace.com, a viral news website which also posted the application, said the response sounded as if the author was "really, really stoned."

How did Taco Bell view the application?

The chain, which is owned by Yum Brands, Inc., would not comment on whether the applicant landed the job. But in an e-mail statement to AOL Jobs, Taco Bell spokesman Rob Poetsch chose to overlook any intended humor in the application. "We're flattered that this customer's passion for the Cheesy Gordita Crunch led him to apply for a job," he wrote.

Other candidates have landed jobs before using gutsy, over-the-top approaches, including even taking out a billboard saying, "Hire Me." In May, 23-year-old Bennett Olson landed a position with a 3-D scanning company after he splashed his smile on a billboard in Minneapolis with that entreaty.

Just recently, on a thread on Quora, Gil Yehuda, an executive at Yahoo, claimed he was hired after turning down the web giant in a job interview, telling the recruiter, "I can't take a job if the company doesn't know what they are looking for. You need to figure out what you want before you make an offer."

According to LinkedIn, he's still employed at Yahoo.

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College is a step toward adulthood for many, but the transition from bachelor's degree to entrepreneur can feel a bit jarring. Keeping your chin up, a stiff upper-lip and other empty clichés everyone says to you can't really prepare you for one really important truth: There isn't a curriculum for adulthood. Knowing this, here're a few changes to expect when you take your first steps away from college and into starting you own business.

1. Attendance is always mandatory.
In college, you may have ditched class or ducked out early and still managed to pass. This isn't going to fly in the startup world. Rain or shine, young treps need to show up and do so in a punctual fashion. Not only will it keep you in the loop of the day-to-day activities but will also set a good example for employees.

2. Scheduling isn't set in stone.
Your Friday morning biology lab is finally over. What a relief. While you may be thanking your lucky stars you don't have to roll out of bed after a crazy night to go and dissect a frog, don't get too excited. Adult life and entrepreneurship means you're beholden to a schedule of necessity rather than attendance sheets. As a young trep, you are the harbinger of your own success, meaning you sometimes will need to ask yourself to come in on a Saturday.

3. Free time isn't free.
Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, there is no such thing as "free time" in the world of startups. During college you may have had huge breaks between class or long holidays but startup reality is quite different. While most of your friends are working at finding a nine-to-five job and attending happy hour, you are slaving away at your business plan or putting out fires at your company. And that's just the reality of being an entrepreneur -- sacrificing free time in exchange for freedom.

4. Multitasking is important, but focus is the key.
At college, you are forced to balance four to six completely different topics each semester. And once you are a full-time entrepreneur, you will also be tackling a multitude of issues and wearing many hats. But instead of divvying up your time equally, you will need to prioritize. Stay focused on one overarching goal.

5. Accounting 101 isn't going to cut it.
While the information you gained from your college accounting class may be pertinent to running a business, if you can't read a profit-and-loss statement or analyze a balance sheet you may be in trouble. But it isn't the whole story. Chances are you're venturing out into the business world without an understanding of how money and taxes work. Buy a book, take a class or do some online research to figure out how to maximize your profits, invest your income and keep revenues rolling in.

6. Friends aren't just drinking buddies anymore.
The heydays of getting rowdy with friends at penny beer nights may be behind you, but the relationships aren't. As an entrepreneur, you're going to have rough patches. Look back at all of your connections from college. Which of them had your back when you weren't out at the bar? Those are the people you want to keep on your radar and reach out to when you need support or advice.

7. Politics and business relationships don't mix.
Attending protests, rallying behind controversial people and speaking your mind about political matters you're passionate about may have suited you in college. After graduation, your views may have stayed the same but you have to be a little more cautious about your actions. The business world is full of different perspectives, and it's best to keep yours viewpoints neutral when talking to colleagues, employees and customers.

8. You are on your own.
The days of holding your hand through class problems are over. While college provided you a syllabus, there is no roadmap to success after graduation. You have to pave your own way. Your decision to become an entrepreneur already means that you're a searcher, so take chances where others wouldn't.

9. No one cares about grades.
Getting an A+ in history may have allotted you bragging rights but in the real world, the closest thing you'll see to a grading rubric is the criteria sheet used by hiring managers to gauge employees. And if you are like a lot of entrepreneurs, you will avoid this approach. Running a startup has less to do with scoring an A+ on your business plan and more to do with successful execution.

10. It's okay to pivot.
College is often perceived as a place to discover what you really want to do with your life and once you're on a track, it can be difficult to change course. In reality, many graduates end up doing something completely different than what they majored in. Realize that the real world is a place where the only thing constant is change -- and embrace it.

In the real world, after graduation, what did you find most surprising? Let us know in the comments below.

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Usually, employers rapidly scan the resume of each job applicant looking for relevant education, skills, and work experience. They select 10 candidates for telephone calls, invite three in for interviews, and hire the one they like the best.

This is a bad way to hire because at best it gets you nice people.

You don’t need nice people.

You need good people.

Good and nice are not the same thing. The opposite of good is bad. The opposite of nice is unlikeable.

Nice people care if you like them; good people care about you. Nice people stretch the truth; good people don’t. If you tell a nice person to do something evil, they might do it because they do not want to upset you; a good person will refuse to do it.

You might think you are a good person, but you are fallible, so if you want to avoid inadvertently doing something evil you must surround yourself with good people, not nice people.

How do you separate the good from the nice? If you do what I do, it will be a piece of cake.

Nice people will allow you to hire them even if they know they are not among your best candidates; a good person won’t let you hire them unless that is what is best for you.

People reflect what you project and expect. If you advertise that you need cutthroat employees, those are the people who will apply. Or if you say you only hire the goodhearted, you will attract those people. The funny thing is, if you run both those ads simultaneously, you’ll get the same people applying. You influence the kind of people they become even before you meet.

I want people with a good heart and a giving personality, so that is what I explicitly ask for. I won’t hire anyone before I can see their authentic self because I don’t want to guess who they plan on being afterwards. To expect authenticity, I must be authentic. Therefore, I put myself into everything I do, including my job ads. You can find a recent example here.

Rather than ask people to send resumes and formulaic cover letters, I ask for thoughts and questions. This way I spend my time evaluating people’s thinking and answering questions, and I don’t waste it reading resumes from thoughtless unquestioning people who cannot follow instructions.

I’ll identify everyone who might possibly be appropriate and invite them all to visit for an open-house. Over pizza and soda they get to see our offices, meet the staff, and learn more about the work.

Then I assemble the crowd and lay down some rules for how I hire:

• As the ad said, you must have a good heart and a giving personality. If you do, then you won’t object to the rest of my rules.
• I will not hire anyone until we both understand and care about each other. I have to care enough about you that I will tell you reasons the job I am offering might not be best for you, and you need to care enough about me to tell me why you might not be my best choice. Once we get all the objections on the table, we can address them, and only then will we both be capable of making a good decision.
• I give honesty and require it in return. I’ll listen if you want to convince me that honesty is not the best policy, but so far nobody has.
• I won’t get between you and your dreams. If you have a dream, I need to know what it is so we can figure out if this job gets you closer. If you don’t have a dream then that’s fine, as long as you really want one and you’re not addicted to wishing and complaining. I’ll consider hiring you if you can make my dreams yours too.
• I won’t make an offer to anyone until I have at least three people I’d hire, so you might as well help me find them. This also means that I will end up with a surplus of people I care about but cannot hire, so if I hire you, you’ll need to help me find jobs for the others.
• If you don’t have a requisite skill right now, I won’t hold it against you as long as you get up to speed before I make a hiring decision. People should help each other learn things, and I’ll help too.
• I’d rather everyone help each other find work than try to convince me they are better than the rest. I’ll help you find work, too. If you want me to hire you then just get everyone else a job, and I’ll have little choice, but—man—you’re going to be awesome.
• If someone is “overqualified” for the position, I will try to find them a better job elsewhere rather than pay less than I should.

The results are amazing. Here are just a few examples:

Deborah was bright, personable, and clearly qualified for a job I was trying to fill in 2009. But she called the morning after the open house and said, “I have to drop out. I’m pregnant. The plan was that I wouldn’t tell you I was pregnant and work for six months, go on leave, and decide later if I’d come back. But now I realize I cannot do that to you, and I cannot do that to the other people who might deserve the job more than me. Then it hit me that I cannot do that to anyone because I’m about to be a mom and I have to think about what kind of role model I want to be for my child.” Deborah and her husband have become friends with my wife and me because, although nice people are a dime-a-dozen, good people like them are hard to find.

Next, David called to drop out because it was his dream to be a comedy writer, and if he landed a job doing that, he would leave me in an instant. So he created a parody of one of my websites (see: HumongousShortageOfWork.com), and a couple of months later he got work at the Onion. We still keep in touch. He is good at being funny and good at being good too.

This left Adrienne, whose writing samples weren’t what I’d hoped for. I told her that if she got a grammar book and a style manual, and submitted new examples within two weeks I’d look at her again. She did that, and her writing was much better, so I hired her and she has proved to be just what I needed.

Wendi and Melissa were my two top scoring programmers on a test I gave in December 2011. Neither of them had ever heard of the computer language we use when I first met them six weeks earlier, but they had done a great job learning it. Wendi had a PhD and prior relevant work experience and was clearly the better candidate, but I did not have a budget to pay her what she was worth. So, I got her a job with a friend paying nearly twice what I was offering. I hired Melissa, who proved to be more than I could have hoped for. She keeps becoming worth more, so I have to keep giving her raises.

Lana was my first choice for the assistant position mentioned in the ad above. But when she realized that my job would get between her and a dream of improving US-Japanese relations, she took a job elsewhere paying half of my offer. Another candidate said he didn’t want the job either because he dreams of becoming a teacher. I said, “But that is my dream too,” so we agreed I would hire him to help me work on articles like this one in which I teach you how to hire better.

Anyone can hire the way I do–it’s easy. Care, and people cannot help but care back. Be authentic and people cannot help but be authentic back. Be honest and people cannot help but be honest back. Don’t treat others the way they expect to be treated; treat them the best way you can imagine treating them. Strive to be a better person than you are, and you’ll figure out the rest.

Another reason most hiring practices are bad is because most employers treat badly the people they do not hire. If what you do is bad, then you can’t call yourself good without at least trying to be better; that’s not even being nice.

There is no aspect of how I hire that I do not thoroughly enjoy, I love everyone I hire, and many I don’t hire. I cannot ask for more than that.

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Taking clients out for an enjoyable dinner can help you build the long-lasting relationships that your business needs. But you need to plan carefully so you're sure to make the best possible impression.

For example, choose a restaurant willing to accommodate people on a vegetarian, gluten-free or other special diets, says Mark Hemmeter, founder of Office Revolution, a provider of virtual office space in Boulder, Colo., who often meets with investors and potential franchisees over dinner. "I don't want to put someone in an uncomfortable situation."

Here are seven of the essential ingredients to wooing clients during a business dinner:

Research your dining companions.
Take time to read up on your guests using online search tools or LinkedIn. If you know the business and personal backgrounds of the attendees, including personal interests and hobbies, you can use the information to help build your relationship, says Deborah Goldstein, a founder of Goldie's Table Manners, a New York City-based dining etiquette business. "If you find a hobby in common, you can steer the conversation to 'stumble on' that commonality."

Arrive early.
Getting to the restaurant ahead of your guests can help ensure that the dinner goes smoothly. For one thing, you'll have time to control the noise level by making sure you're not sitting next to a large group of people and that the table isn't in the path of traffic, says Lydia Ramsey, a business etiquette expert in Savannah, Ga. Also, she says, if the guests arrive first, they may not feel they're a high priority with you.

Prepay the bill.
Seeing the bill arrive can be awkward for your business guests even though they aren't expected to pay. If it's a restaurant you're comfortable with, let the server run your credit card, designate a tip percentage and sign the bill either before your guests' arrival or when you discreetly step away from the table mid-meal. You can either pick up the check as you exit or have it mailed to you, Ramsey says. "That way the check never comes to the table. It makes it very comfortable for the guest."

Match the client in consumption.
To keep a balance throughout the meal, let your guest order first. For example, skip the appetizer if your guest orders only an entrée -- ditto when it comes to dessert. Even if you order the same courses, adjust your pace so you're eating at a similar rate, Goldstein advises. Sitting in front of your finished plate may make it awkward for your companion if he's only half way through the meal. If you're having drinks, it's also important to follow your guest's lead, Hemmeter says. "I want to relate to the person I am dining with, and unbalanced alcohol consumption can make that difficult." If the guest starts drinking too much, however, keeping pace clearly isn't a good idea, he adds.

Respect the wait staff. 
How you communicate with restaurant staff can affect your business relationship by changing the way your guests feel about you. So don't lose your cool even if dishes or service are not up to par. "I can't stand it when people are rude or condescending to servers in a restaurant," Hemmeter says. "They usually carry that attitude to their workforce, and I don't want to work with people like that."

Take advantage of the small talk.
Inviting a client to dinner doesn't mean you need to talk about only business. In fact, it may be appropriate to avoid work topics altogether and simply get to know each other on a personal basis. Small talk can often be a great way to assess another guest: Does he dominate the conversation or is he a good listener? Does she act in a respectful or demeaning manner toward subordinates? If you do need to discuss business matters, Ramsey recommends that you save them for after the main course when there will be fewer interruptions from the server.

Be sure to follow-up on the dinner conversation.
Take note of what you may need to do post-dinner and be sure to follow through on any requests from your guests, such as making introductions to third parties or tracking down information. "Many people promise action, but don't follow through," Goldstein says. 

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Today's advice comes from Steve Pogorzelski, former President of Monster North America and current CEO of ClickFuel:  

"For entrepreneurs, the first step in finding a business coach who can help you become a more effective, successful leader is staying open to criticism from coaches inside or outside your organization ... Many people fear being coached because of their sensitivity to what they would consider negative feedback. The best coaching relationships happen between people who accept advice willingly and those who give it freely, creating the trust that most people require in order to receive coaching constructively."

Pogorzelski says there are three qualities you should look for in a business coach. He says great coaches do not have to come with a fancy name from a large company, so look beyond the title. The best coaches also view coaching as a process, not a project, and consistently offer advice. Lastly, great coaches are willing to coach as much as be coached. They are humble enough to accept advice themselves.

"Quality coaching can be critical to a startup, where good people push each other up and move the entire organization forward. By making sure you and your team have effective coaches, you’ll encourage smart risk-taking, which can make the difference between a startup that soars and one that flops."

Want your business advice featured in Instant MBA? Submit your tips to tipoftheday@businessinsider.com. Be sure to include your name, your job title, and a photo of yourself in your email.

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They meet more people in an afternoon than most of us do in a year. But what faux pas do human resources pros see again and again during the interview process?

We picked the brains of two high-profile executives to find out what you definitely shouldn't say—and what they secretly think of your résumé. (One was so brutally honest about her just-don't-do-this advice that she preferred to remain anonymous.)

Not Knowing When to Stop Talking

"Talking over your interviewer is the biggest mistake that interview candidates don't realize they're making," says Stacey Hawley, a career and leadership development coach and compensation specialist. "This is usually from nervousness, but as a result, the candidates outtalk the interviewer and don't engage in active listening."

Amy Michaels,* a human resources director at a high-tech firm in New York City, agrees: "The inability to listen is huge. That person who’s always trying to have the exact right answer, but can't stop talking? They ultimately won't be a success."

Instead, listen up and watch more subtle clues—like your interviewer's body language. If she's shifting back and forth or clearing her throat, it's time to let her get to the next question.

Bad-mouthing Your Ex ... Job

While it may seem like a no-brainer, putting down your current employer happens all too often, says Michaels, perhaps because the bad feelings are still fresh. If you're tempted to trash your present company, stop right there.

"When I ask why you're leaving a place, I don't want to hear you gripe about your current manager or badmouth your situation," she says. "Be creative enough to come up with a tactful reason as to why you're leaving. Otherwise, to me, that's a huge red flag that you're not mature enough to know not to do it. Not to mention that it makes me nervous about how tactful you're going to be externally if I hire you."

Not Acknowledging Your Mistakes

A couple of interview rules of thumb: "Be well-groomed, and be on time," says Michaels. "Or email if your train is running late. That happens in New York."

While one minor transgression may not deep-six your prospects of landing the job, you should still acknowledge it and move on, says Michaels. Hawley will also pardon small errors: "Mistakes are OK and acceptable. No one is perfect — or needs to be."

The bigger red flag, both say, is someone who can't admit their missteps. "The people who make me nuts just act like being late never happened," says Michaels. "If you make a mistake, own up to it."

Neglecting Your Cover Letter

Our experts were adamant about this. "To be honest, I don't read objectives, and I don't care if you fence," says Michaels. "But I do read cover letters." Hawley agrees: "Absolutely write a cover letter. It's an opportunity to highlight your understanding of the business, and what you can do for the bottom line."

And, even in the digital age, there's no excuse for a quickly dashed-off email—take the time to compose it with care. "Demonstrate your knowledge of the company," says Hawley. "And link your past achievements to the position, showing how you can contribute to their future success." That, she says, will always make a candidate stand out.

Trying Too Hard

While confidence is a must, check your supersize ego at the door. "I have a good radar," says Michaels, "and I have a policy where I will not bring in ego. I've made that mistake, and it really affects the culture of an organization."

What good HR professionals have that most humans don't, notes Michaels, is a high EQ. "You notice body language," she says. "You can sense whether someone has empathy or is overly self-involved."

Michaels advice? Try to relax and be your (best) self. "I like people who are authentic, and you know it’s who they are," she says. "I'm just attracted to that."

Of course, HR execs can also pick up on whether you're posturing. "When you start elaborating on things you don’t actually know or things you think I want to hear, I’m not impressed," she says.

Curbing Your Enthusiasm

If you're going to the trouble of sprucing up your résumé and dry-cleaning your suit, at least try to appear appropriately enthused. An interview is an opportunity to learn about the company, and vice versa, but you can take yourself out of the running prematurely if you don't act like you want the position. And that includes doing your homework on both the company and your individual interviewers.

"I would never hire someone who didn't do the proper research," says Hawley. But if it came down to a choice between two candidates, "all else being equal, the person who showed the most excitement and interest would get my vote," she says.

Forgetting Your Manners

When it comes to an interview, you want to dot your I's, cross your T's and, yes, put your résumé on nice, thick paper stock—but certain old-fashioned politesse can also get you ahead.

"A handshake is actually important to me," says Michaels. "It's a totally stupid thing, but I do pay attention." So what is she looking for? "You want a firm, confident handshake," she says. "It tells you whether that person is an introvert or an extrovert. If it's a sales job, you have to have a healthy handshake."

As for Hawley, her biggest interview-etiquette pet peeve is equally simple: not following up. So be sure to send a thank-you note or a thank-you email, if you're trying to be expedient. But don't just send a form letter to every person who you interviewed with—thank them instead by mentioning a personal connection or a particular detail that you discussed.

Torpedoing the Salary Negotiation

Finally, if you're lucky enough to get an offer, you're on to (arguably) the hardest part of the interview process.

There are two common salary-negotiation mistakes our recruiters see: The first is mentioning money too early. "I think it’s really presumptuous for a candidate to bring up money," says Michaels. "You have to earn the right to bring that up."

The second is forgetting to negotiate at all. "People—especially women—negotiate against themselves," says Hawley. "They assume how the company will respond, and answer for the company."

Our nerves often cause us to blurt out a number, locking us into a salary when there was more money to be had. Instead, she says, you should ask open-ended questions, such as "What range do you have in mind?" Then wait and listen.

* Name has been changed to protect her identity.

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EAST VILLAGE — Mayor Michael Bloomberg used his own memories of being a poor college grad — who worked his first summer job in his underwear because there wasn't any air conditioning — in a revealing bit of inspiration to urge Cooper Union grads to give back to their alma mater.

At a ceremony inside the Great Hall at Cooper Square, held just weeks after administrators announced the end of the school's historically free education, the billionaire mayor revealed that he wasn't always a successful businessman flush with cash, but he was always a devoted philanthropist who remembed to give back to his college.

"I didn't really have much money to give," Bloomberg told the outgoing students atCooper Union's graduation ceremony Wednesday, recalling how a $5 donation to his alma mater in the early days after graduation grew to the $1 billion he is estimated to have contributed over his life.

"My first job was working in a cage counting securities in my underwear because it was not air-conditioned in the summer," Bloomberg added, "Over the years I continue to give and as I earned more I gave more."

Graduating students turned their backs as school president Jamshed Bharucha spoke before introducing Bloomberg for the commencement address. The billionaire mayor encouraged outgoing students to remember Cooper Union with their paychecks.

"As frustrated and as angry about the school's present situation as you are, really its future is yours to determine," said Bloomberg, who received an honorary degree from the school. "When you walk out these doors do not leave behind the passion you have shown for this institution and its past and its future."

"Stay strong, stay committed and do what Peter Cooper did — donate what you can," he added.

Cooper Union — named after founder and industrialist Peter Cooper — was established in 1859 as a school for low-income students, offering access to the higher education necessary to participate in shaping public life. Since then, the promise of free education has been as central to the school's identity as has its programs in architecture, engineering, and the arts.

But the college has hit hard financial times in recent years. While the school has relied largely on rent income from land beneath the Chrysler Building to fund its scholarships, that source has not kept pace with inflation rates, said the school's Board of Trustees chairman Mark Epstein at the end of April when he announced the school would only offer partial scholarships.

Incoming students due to start in September will only receive a partial scholarship of $20,000 per year, down from the full amount of $40,000.

A recent New York Times article singled out donations from Cooper Union's alumni as a weak area in the school’s financial streams.

President Bharucha did not directly address the school's decision to begin charging students for a Cooper Union education, but instead when commemorating outgoing staff members he mentioned the school's "recent troubles."

Students are staging an around-the-clock occupation of Bharucha's office in the two weeks leading up to the graduation ceremony, demanding his resignation.  As of Wednesday, students were still occupying the office, according to Joe Riley, an art student at the school and member of the group Students for a Free Cooper Union.

At the ceremony dozens of graduating students — donning a small red square pendent to symbolize the movement — turned their backs on Bharucha  as he made the president's speech at the ceremony.

Many faculty members from the school seated on the stage with Bharucha also wore the red squares.

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As a remote worker, it’s easy to feel like you need to be available and online at all hours of the workday.

After all, if you’re not “present” on the web, how will your boss know you’re getting your work done and continuing to be a valuable part of the team?

I understand this feeling. Especially early on in my work-from-home days, I would often experience what I like to call “remote work guilt” whenever I had to sign offline. Even if I would just be gone for a few minutes or was doing something work-related, I would worry that my boss would think I was slacking off or not putting in my full day’s work.

Thankfully, I’ve realized that there are times when it’s perfectly acceptable to disconnect as a remote worker. If you find yourself getting anxious every time you step away from your computer, just remember these four times that you can, and should, sign off.

When You Need to Commute

Far too often, I find myself stuck in the subway in the middle of the day while commuting from my home in Brooklyn to a work meeting in Manhattan. And I used to spend this time impatiently watching the minutes tick by on my iPhone, stressing over the urgent emails and calls going unanswered while I was underground and disconnected from the world. Worse, I imagined my co-workers assuming that I was out on the town, neglecting my duties.

But remember—while your colleagues are driving into the office and home each day, it’s likely that you’re online, working. So, whether you have a midday meeting across town, are going to a lunch outside of your remote office, or just need to move to a coffee shop for a change of pace, it’s okay to sign off for a bit while you get there. There are still plenty of ways you can make that time personally or professionally productive without being present online. And if you’re really worried about your boss or team wondering where you are, shoot over a quick note letting them know where you’re headed and when you plan to be available again.

When You Need to Do Focused Work

It’s natural for remote workers to always give the “green light”—after all, we want people to know we’re available for quick questions or requests for help. But, there are projects that you really need to give your full, focused attention to in order to get them done right.

In a traditional office, you might have the option of shutting your door to signal to your colleagues that they should come back later—but as a remote worker, you should shut your (virtual) door by turning that “available” status to “busy” when you need to be uninterrupted.

You can even include a custom message about what you’re working on—something like “Working on a new blog post. I’m here in case I’m needed immediately, but looking to knock this out of the park, so I’ll be fully available again at 2 PM.” That’s it. You’ve given your team insight into what you’re working on and you’ve given yourself the time and space to do it right. Now get in the zone.

When You Need a Break

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—you have to take breaks as a remote worker if you want to preserve your sanity and be more focused on your work. Real breaks. Regular breaks. Away-from-your-computer breaks.

In a traditional office, when you need a moment to clear your head, it’s likely that you’d stop by a co-worker’s desk for a chat, head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, and so on. Allow yourself to do the same at home. As long as you’re not away for more than 10 or 15 minutes, no one should question why you didn’t answer a request immediately. So every few hours, shut your computer, and take a few minutes to walk around, get outside, make a snack, or call a friend.

At the Close of Business

Early in my remote working career, I would casually walk away from my computer at the end of the day without signing off. Throughout the evening, I’d receive messages from various co-workers—one during dinner, another while watching my favorite evening show, even a few while I was out at networking events. I wanted to ignore them, but it’s pretty hard to get frustrated by a message at 10 PM when I was signed into a chat client and marked as available.

While it’s great for your colleagues to feel like you’re available anytime, actually making yourself available 24/7 is unhealthy. So, when you’re done with work for the day, sign offline and start fresh tomorrow.

It’s important to be available as a remote worker, but you shouldn’t feel guilty on occasions when you need to be checked out. Remember, there’s a difference between being on and being on and providing value. Do your work and do it well, and no one will question you, whether you’re on or offline.

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Today's advice comes from Brent Saunders, CEO of Bausch and Lamb, via The New York Times:

"The people I rely on or view as high-potential folks are people who come with a problem but also bring ideas for the solution. It may not be the right solution. We may do something entirely different, but they’ve been thoughtful about it."

Saunders says he hears problems all day, so it's refreshing when an employee comes with a solution to the problem. It shows thought, effort, and most of all, makes an impression. Questions are good, but being two steps ahead and having an answer is even better. The preparation will impress your boss.

"If people are looking to advance their career, they may want to be more thoughtful about bringing some ideas for solving a problem, and not just presenting a problem."

Want your business advice featured in Instant MBA? Submit your tips to tipoftheday@businessinsider.com. Be sure to include your name, your job title, and a photo of yourself in your email.

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The rise of Asian Americans involves a lot more than relentless tiger moms.

A report updated last month by Pew Research details all kinds of impressive statistics about Asian Americans, who overtook Hispanics in 2009 as America's fastest-growing racial group.

Some highlights: 

Asian Americans are better educated than any other ethnic group:

They're richer than everyone else:

They believe in hard work:

And they're excited to be here:

Read the full report at Pew Research.

SEE ALSO: Why America Desperately Needs Immigration Reform

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A bad boss is an employee's worst nightmare. The moment you realize your boss compares unfavorably with Cruella D'ville, your stomach sinks and you realize it is time to look for a new position. 

If you need a checklist to decide how terrible your boss really is, consider how many of the following "bad boss" traits your manager exhibits:

Abrasive communication style. We're all stressed out at some point, but if your boss cannot communicate a problem or concern without berating or yelling, she's missing key management skills and likely won't keep highly qualified employees for long.

Poor planning skills. You've heard the adage, "Your poor planning does not constitute an emergency on my part." Your boss, however, makes no efforts to plan ahead or to anticipate concerns down the road. The result is that your team seems to jump from emergency to emergency, and you constantly need to put your own life on hold as a result. If your boss always seems to operate one step away from disaster and can't ever seem to get a handle on what needs to be done, the team inevitably suffers.

Expects you to read his mind. Wouldn't it be nice if we all had ESP and could anticipate our boss' every need before he even had a chance to express it? Unfortunately, it's a pipe dream for even the best employees. If your boss consistently expects you to know what is next, but doesn't do a good job of providing the context to make sure you can be successful, he is setting you up to fail.

Lack of decision-making abilities."Wishy washy" is not an adjective that describes a great boss. The worst bosses collect all the information and still can't make choice. When aboss is not a good leader, ramifications can go beyond just whether the decisions at hand are good or bad. A lackluster leader likely doesn't have a lot of influence with higher-ups, which can negatively affect everyone on that person's team when it comes time for bonuses, raises or promotions.

Takes credit for the good and passes blame for the bad. This is probably one of the worst and often-reported traits of a bad boss. If your boss has the tendency to pass the buck when things get rough, but is the first to ask for a pat on the back when all is well, you know you won't be able to trust him to support you and your career.

Cannot provide constructive criticism. When your boss has no problem telling you you're doing something wrong, but cannot provide any insights regarding how to improve, it's a bad sign. Employees have a right to expect bosses will be able to offer some mentoring and direction; it's part of a manager's job description. If your boss lacks this key ability, it may be time to look for a new boss.

Arrogance. This characteristic is hard to take in anyone, but most especially the person who manages you. If your boss knows everything and can do no wrong, it's a good idea to seek greener pastures unless you are exceptionally tolerant.

Uncaring. Even an otherwise ineffective boss can get away with a lot if employees believe she cares about them. If your boss could care less about your family emergency or is on the phone to you in your hospital bed asking when you'll be back at work, it's pretty clear your well being isn't high on the priority list.

Uses fear tactics. If your boss motivates by fear more than any other tactic, it's a sign that he lacks leadership skills necessary to do the job. Perhaps he is intimidated or unsure how to get results without relying on threats or other fear mongering, but no matter the reason, it's not helping the organization or the employees.

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For a good part of the past decade, I’ve taught negotiation skills to diverse audiences—Fortune 500 executives, generals in the U.S. Army and Air Force, and professional athletes in the NFL and NHL.

They tend to excel at preparing, analyzing options, and establishing a strong position. Yet some of their communication choices fly in the face of the best data on what actually works at the bargaining table.

Negotiations start with the exchange of information. Many people view this process like playing a poker game. Why should I tip my hand before I’ve seen yours?

But in Give and Take, I cover a wealth of evidence that most people are matchers: they follow the norm of reciprocity, responding in kind to how we treat them. This means that the best way to earn trust is to show trust. If we want to receive information, we need to lead by sharing information.

That said, it’s risky to give away information that could make you vulnerable. The good news is that there are two easy ways to avoid this trap. The first is a technique that I learned from Robert Adler, a negotiation professor who now serves as a Commissioner of the Consumer Product Safety Administration for the Obama administration. It’s called selective information-sharing, and it involves revealing a piece of information that’s small or impossible to use against you.

In one experiment, Stanford and Kellogg students negotiated over email. When they only exchanged their names and email addresses, they reached deals less than 40% of the time. When they shared information that was irrelevant to the negotiation, schmoozing about their hobbies or hometowns, 59% reached agreement. When you open up about something personal, you send a signal that you’re trustworthy, and your counterparts will be motivated to reciprocate, matching your disclosure with one of their own.

The second is called rank-ordering, and it involves listing the issues on the table, and sharing the relative importance of them. In a job offer negotiation, for example, you might say that salary is most important to you, followed by location, and then vacation time and signing bonus. Research shows that rank-ordering is a powerful way to help your counterparts understand your interests without giving away too much information. You can then ask them to share their priorities, and look for opportunities for mutually beneficial tradeoffs: both sides win on the issues that are most important to them.

But you can only find these win-win possibilities if you resist the temptation to sequence issues. All too often, people try to reach agreement on one issue at a time. “Let’s resolve the salary first, and then we’ll move on to the other issues.” When Neil Rackham’s team taped skilled and average negotiators, the average negotiators insisted on handling issues one at a time more than twice as often as the experts. By keeping all of the issues on the table, you have the flexibility to propose trading location and bonus for a bump in salary.

Once you’ve exchanged information, someone needs to make an offer. On average, is it better to make the first offer or let your counterpart open?

When I poll executives, more than three quarters believe that it’s usually best not to make the first offer. By encouraging a counterpart to make the first offer, they assume that they’ll gain an information advantage.

There’s only one problem with this assumption: it’s wrong. One thorough analysis of negotiation experiments showed that every dollar higher in the first offer translates into about 50 cents more in the final agreement. As Adam Galinsky, a leading negotiation expert at Columbia Business School, summarizes the extensive research: “more often than not, negotiators who make first offers come out ahead.” Why?

First offers serve as anchors: they set the tone for the negotiation. When we hear a first offer, we find ourselves pulled in that direction, and have trouble adjusting our own judgments. Inone clever experiment, Greg Northcraft and Maggie Neale invited experienced real estate agents to inspect a house from top to bottom, and then asked them to estimate the independent appraisal value of the house. Unbeknownst to the agents, they were randomly assigned to see one of two different listing prices. Half of the agents saw a listing price of $119,900, and they estimated that the house would appraise for just over $114,000. The other half of the agents saw a listing price of $149,900, and they predicted that the house would appraise for over $128,000. The listing price should have been irrelevant; the agents had seen the house, so who cares what list price the seller chose? But the agents couldn’t escape the pull of the anchor.

Beyond setting the tone, making the first offer has two other advantages: it signals confidence and strength, and it creates more flexibility to make concessions without getting stuck with a bad deal. Of course, the credibility of your first offer depends on having a legitimate rationale to back it up. If your opening is too extreme, you can offend your counterpart or damage the relationship. And if your counterpart has better information than you, making the first offer can backfire—you might miss the mark completely. But as Dan Pink notes in To Sell Is Human, we’ve moved from a world of information asymmetry to information parity. In the information age, it’s much easier to do our homework about the value of a house, a car, or a skill set by gathering benchmarking data about similar items. As a result, I tell my students and clients that if they arrive at the bargaining table unprepared to make the first offer, they haven’t prepared enough.

When preparing to make a first offer, people often overcorrect. They’re so concerned about justifying their positions that they marshal as many reasons as possible. Yet Rackham found that experts give fewer reasons to back up their arguments: skilled negotiators averaged fewer than two reasons per argument, compared with three reasons per argument from the non-experts. “The more reasons advanced, the more a case is potentially diluted,” Rackham writes. “If a negotiator gives five reasons to back his/her case and the third reason is weak, the other party will exploit this third reason in their response.” Presenting too many reasons can also convey a lack of confidence, making clear that we’re uncertain of the legitimacy of our offer. An effective first offer is best supported by one or two compelling reasons.

There will always be times where we simply don’t have the chance to prepare to make the first offer, or our counterparts beat us to the punch with an opening anchor. “If an initial offer is too extreme,” write negotiation authorities Max Bazerman and Maggie Neale, “you need to re-anchor the process.” One strategy is to make your counteroffer equally extreme, knowing that the final agreement will usually be near the midpoint of the first two offers. But this approach comes with a downside: because anchoring can be powerful, you might not adjust enough, making your counteroffer insufficiently extreme. Also, by countering, you’re sending a message that the first offer was an acceptable launching point for the negotiation.

To avoid these traps, you can ask your counterparts to explain their reasoning, or simply tell them their initial offer is so far off the mark that you don’t feel it’s a fair or productive place to begin. But my favorite response is to follow one of Rackham’s tips: test your understanding and summarize. The idea here is to sum up what has just happened, and show that you’re wise to it. In Rackham’s study, of all behavior in a negotiation, testing understanding and summarizing made up less than 9% of the communications of average negotiators, versus more than 17% for skilled negotiators.

I had a chance to test this strategy when negotiating with a car dealer. He made an initial offer that was hardly better than the sticker price, and I saw an opportunity. “It sounds like you’re using a technique called anchoring,” I said, “where you open with an extreme offer to start the negotiation at the most favorable point for you. That’s not what you’re doing, is it?”

When I labeled the behavior, he saw that I couldn’t be easily duped. And when I asked the question, I gave him an escape hatch. He took it: “I knew I couldn’t fool you.”

For more on effective negotiation strategies, see Adam's new book Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller. Follow Adam on Twitter @AdamMGrant

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